Movie Review - The Zero Theorem

There's an expression that goes something like this: "If you make it they will come." After trying to watch the movie "The Zero Theorem," I cannot in all honesty bastardize that statement into "If you film it they will view it."  

I sat through about 25 minutes of this film and quite frankly, I just didn't get it. Perhaps it was my stilted IQ bordering around the dull normal range, a pressing issue festering in my subconscious sublimating to an inability to concentrate or my selfish desire to spend my time on something worthwhile that forced me to pull the plug on this one; I don't know. But like I said, I just didn't get it.

Before judging me, let me state I understand the concepts of allegory, metaphors, analogies, symbolism and many others as applied on the screen. But I flat out didn't comprehend what was going on here. 

Set in a future that is truly a test of one's visual capabilities, the protagonist named "We" has a job in a surreal environment. He pedals a Rube Goldberg-esque machine while sitting in front of a monitor, producing a phosphorescent liquid in tubes that's used for who the hell knows what. Since I bailed on what seemed to me producer Terry Gilliam's attempt at recording an LSD trip I can't honestly say what it was about, its theme or message to the viewer. But I also don't need to stop smashing my fingers with a hammer knowing it will feel so good when I stop to derive some pleasure in my life.

There might be an underlying philosophical concept to be experienced but it's far from the surface of reality, as unrevealed and unattainable as the river Styx. To quote in part another review I read for Zero Theorem: 

Sudden singularities & the big crunch are a spectacular narrative to explorer tragedy & the philosophical purpose of life. Visually the film is overwhelming and the eclectic Bucharest architecture is perfect for Gilliam's vision

Okay. Um - huh?
One might call this a deep film, requiring a riveted attention span and drawing on years of knowledge gleaned from schooling in the Fine Arts, acknowledging the work of an avant-gard master filmmaker who has poured his heart into a work of staggering beauty and complexity.

To me, it was crap.